The cookie sheet was covered in chicken fat and marinade from a night of homemade chicken wings. Water was added to let them soak overnight and as I awoke in the morning it was time to get to cleaning. I brought the cookie sheet to the sink located across from the oven before realizing that I had to clear the sink first. Carefully, or so I thought, I put the pan to the side and got to work clearing space by in the sink.

Moments later I heard the unwelcome crash of the pan falling to the floor. Crap!

It was a disgusting mess but I got to cleaning up and in just a couple of minutes the kitchen was back to normal. Still a dirty pan but no one would have known about the mess I had just made.

As someone who likes control (maybe loves? is addicted to? would not give it up?), the idea a spilling sweet, sticky marinade and chicken grease diluted only by water on the floor of our kitchen is terrifying. Abstractly I cringe at the idea. It takes on the weight in my mind of an unbearable disaster.

The ease of cleanup is a lovely reminder that it is okay to lose control. The consequences are probably not as bad as you imagine. And in other areas the consequences that we sow fear may not be so bad if they happen.

I think surely parents must have this lesson face them on a daily basis, but I am still developing the skill.