Unawareness.

I took my elderly aunt to the bank to help her figure some things out. It was Thursday during a nine day trip out of state to help her and my mother with care etc.

The wonderful bank manager, who was patient, kind, delightful, and so helpful – has a mother about the same age as my aunt, and they are starting to think about assisted living, etc.; and she has managed her mother’s finances for years.

It came up that the bank manager will be out the following week on vacation. I excitedly asked what warm location she was heading out to. I love a good vacation!!

Answer: nowhere. She was staying put to spend the week helping her mother.

I thought to myself “wow, I would never do such a thing.” And then I simultaneously thought – “what a saint” to do it, and “poor woman…that’s most definitely not a vacation.”

I had all these thoughts, subconsciously, while I was literally doing the exact same thing I was telling myself I would never do.

In part this is due to the wording. I sure as hell am not on vacation (as the bank manager said she was about to be), and since I work for myself I do not have to think about it as taking leave from a pool offered by my employer (though it most certainly hurts the business).

However, that is just a small part. It is also an example of how our mind plays tricks on us. I was focusing on the negative and feelings of not ‘doing enough’ rather than ‘look what we accomplished this week!”

Why not just be and do in the moment with a true sense that who we are and what we do is enough.

As I heard one person say recently, we are probably not as bad as we think we are, and we are probably not as good as we think we are.

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